November 2005. Diwali is a bit more silent than usual this year. Maybe it is those explosions that rocked Delhi three days back. Maybe it is the bomb threats that so many of our public places and temples and mosques have been receiving from a lot of crazy terrorist organisations.
A friend who dropped by on Sunday evening, remarked how at the Siddhi Vinayak temple, there were more policemen around than devotees. Policemen presumably with rifles and sten guns and all the rest. Of course, this lady told us, (we are not temple goers so all this information is interesting for us) that even under normal circumstances, a visit to a temple like Siddhi Vinayak where the main shrine is down some steep steps, is quite an adventure. If there are no policemen to give you a sense of thrill there are always aggressive bulky women in the queue to push you aside, who in their attempt to advance forward themselves, almost succeed in knocking you down the stairs – presumably all the way to heaven.
Or maybe Diwali is more quiet this year because people no longer want to splurge on fireworks. I don’t know. I certainly DO NOT find the thought of the bomb threats very pleasant - but the thought of a quiet Diwali is soooo welcoming. Is this the price one pays for a quiet celebration?
Festivals and celebrations seem to have lost their significance altogether, in the past decades. Ganesh Chaturti, Dassehra or Diwali. They seem to give rise to a certain frequency of madness which you have to tune into yourself, in order to even vaguely enjoy the celebration, whatever it might be, even something as simple as a birthday party.
Noise. Why are Indians so fond of it? Or is it the world? I hate parties for this very reason. Most parties make me feel the madness of our world very intensely. The music (when there is music) is so deafening that all I manage to see the whole evening is the way in which human beings cover up their basic loneliness. Not being able to genuinely face one another, not being able to communicate. And so, having nothing to say to each other, we hide the fact with deafening sounds that blare from huge loudspeakers. And that is supposed to be fun. Ok. It is only my opinion, that this is NOT fun. Maybe plenty of others who have succeeded in tuning in to the general spirit of fun (my euphemism for madness) will tell me at this point how enjoyable such noisy evenings are, and I will keep my mouth shut. Because as I said in my last post, I don’t wish to argue any more!
But if there is anyone apart from me – anyone who appreciates a little silence and wants to, and is able to communicate without the aid of loudspeakers or inane chatter, please please get in touch! Let’s see what comes of our acquaintance!
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2 comments:
HI Uma,
I agree with you.
And yes! I have been a bit too bitter in my last few comments here! Was just dealing with my own internal anger perhaps.
The volcano is dying down, perhaps its still seething inside (expect more eruptions!!)
But yes, I do agree with you. The festival is unusually quiet this year.
-x-
I agree that people generally try to escape from opening up to each other. Noise (arguments, judgements, Crackers, Loud Music)is perhaps the way we try to escape from our own self, and try to be a part of the NOISE (read crowd) that is around. We try to hide all the time.
And we get so used to it, that we grow deaf to what our own hearts have to say to us!
All because we are generally afraid of being judged! And we try to hide all the time from others, from our own self. (projections and trasference now!)
And perhaps when somebody offers to listen, we distrust him/her, in our own fear of being judged, and we don't open up. And even if we try to open up, we cannot, becoz we have already grown deaf to what our hearts have to say to us.
I am passing through such a phase now. Trying hard to listen to my heart, to her language which I cannot decipher.
In all the Noise around, I have lost touch with my own heart and soul. And I am glad I have a therapsit.
I wonder what is the connection between the mistrust within us (the cynicism) and one's own judgemental attitude toward everything..
Is it something to do with failure to accept people as they are and things as they are? Is it as Jules would say, "Running away from legitimate suffering"?
So does it all have to do with Acceptance and surrendering to life?
Surrendering to life would mean distinguishing between
1)surrendering to unhealthy Comfort zones (a pitfall),
against
2)surrendering to "what our hearts say(as granny would put it), or what the Core says (as Uma would put it)
And that would mean legitimate suffering, difficult choices, testing patience, putting up with uncertainty...
And the measure of knowing if we are on the right track? What about that Uma? What is the Measure to know if we are on the right track?
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