Christmas Entertainment - not to be read by overly devout Christians

Four year old Felix

Tomorrow is Christmas eve and preparations for the evening variety programme are already underway. Lulu is scripting a play for us in which she and her sister are to play the roles of the three kings who come to visit Jesus while Felix and I are to play Joseph and Maria (Mary). So this morning we rehearsed a bit together and came up with the following impromptu version.

Maria (me) still faffing around in her wheelchair, is padded with cushions to appear pregnant. Joseph wants to know, how do we show Jesus being born? So we mull over the question and he comes up with a soft toy which he pushes underneath the cushion which is fattening me up. When the time comes for Jesus to be born, I whip out the cushion and toss it away while Joseph delivers baby Jesus, who turns out to be ... a teddy bear.


We both gaze lovingly at Teddy Jesus and think about how to hide him from the evil eyes of King Herrod who is out to kill all baby boys since one of them has been slated to be his successor and to rob him of his glory. So finally Joseph shoves him in the oven and (according to his own script) accidentally "turns it on" so that ... lordy lordy, we end up with a baked Teddy Jesus.

Down the line when the time comes to name the child, Joseph and Maria (according to Lulu’s script) have a little argument about what to call him. Joseph wants him to be called Joseph while Maria toys with a number of names like Thomas, Phillip, George and so on before finally settling for Jesus.

Maria: We’ll call him Jesus.
Joseph: No we have to call him Joseph.
Maria: Jesus
Joseph: (stubborn - but trips over the word) We'll call him Jesuph
Maria: Jesooph?
Maria and Joseph start giggling and decide this is not a bad name for their baby teddy who has now recovered completely from his bad experience in the oven.

At some point Lulu, suspecting that Felix might not be able to deal with the complex role of Joseph contemplates taking it away from him and playing the role herself together with Lilly in the role of Maria. That would leave Felix and me to share the role of the three kings. Unfortunately the very idea had Felix in a rage, so we broke for lunch at this point and so far we have not come further.